remission Archives - Unhinged

Unhinged Episode #050: We Are Finding Who We Are

by Ed 3 Comments
Unhinged Episode #050: We Are Finding Who We Are

For our 50th episode, we start off with a clip of us singing the King’s X song “We Are Finding Who We Are”. In a way, it’s very relevant to what our show is all about. We look to the unknown future, with pain we have yet to experience, but know is coming. Those challenges can be overcome with the help of others. No mountain is too big to climb if you do it together.

This is evident in the mere fact that we are on our 50th episode. It’s a milestone that took us nearly a year and half, with many ups and downs, including a 5 month hiatus. But we keep coming back to record another episode. Why? Because we’ve heard from some of our listeners that our show has made them feel like they’re not alone, that somehow we have provided just a little bit of comfort to a suffering mind. That gives us purpose, which is validating to both of us, but especially to Doug, who can turn his lifelong battle into something positive for other sufferers.

This is a journey for both of us… an exploration of our fears, wants, and needs. We don’t have the answers, but we’re discovering them along the way. We are finding who we are.

Forever is a mountain we’ve yet to climb
Tears are a part of what is yet to leave behind
Strength in numbers, all you need is two
Everyone’s a winner, while still so many lose

The volume of emotion erupting in our souls
A quiet revelation quickly takes a hold
Patience is a virtue, but she won’t always wait
Dissension is the tension, it’s what we’ve learned to hate

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Unhinged Episode #047: Steppin’ Into The Twilight Zone

by Ed 2 Comments
Unhinged Episode #047: Steppin’ Into The Twilight Zone

It was a long day of recording when we did this episode. But the reason is because we were having too much fun putting together a little song clip for the show’s intro. What song? Hint: see the title of this episode 🙂 After 8 hours of fooling around on guitar and trying to make remote music recording work (latency is not your friend), we finally got to talking.

The good news is that spirits are still high and Doug is still on the positive side of things. Of course, he is still concerned about relapsing, and treads lightly to try to avoid known triggers. The even better news is that the healing process between Doug and his family has started! He had two very good talks with his brother and sister, and the newly opened lines of communication promise to be the bridge that reunites them fully. Hooray for family!

We also discuss the importance of refocusing one’s energies into the right channels. By changing negative patterns into actions that advance the good in one’s life, normalcy can slowly creep its way back. It takes work and is not easy, but it is a powerful tool in the arsenal of anyone with a mental illness.

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Unhinged Episode #046: I Just Want To Celebrate

by Ed 4 Comments
Unhinged Episode #046: I Just Want To Celebrate

This week, we first discuss how Doug’s mental state has improved and what he has been doing personally to make sure he can stay in a good place. This includes proper diet and supplements that help replenish the brain of important nutrients. His donated guitar has also helped bring music back into his life.

Yes, we return to the topic of music and music therapy as we each go on to list our top 10 favorite songs of all time. We go through each one and explain what it means to us, why it’s on our list, and how it makes us feel. With Doug’s great knowledge of musical artists and rock history, he even goes into some details about each artist, many of which had to deal with their own mental issues or dependencies.

We learn that many songs we discuss are rooted in past experiences, which is why we love to listen to them when times are good, but also why they can sometimes be hard to listen to when our mood is down.

Doug’s Top 10 Songs:
  1. Matte Kudesai by King Crimson
  2. Let Go The Line by Max Webster
  3. Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills & Nash
  4. Fantasy by Earth, Wind & Fire
  5. Time by Pink Floyd
  6. After the Love Has Gone by Earth, Wind & Fire
  7. Hammer to Fall by Queen
  8. Europa by Santana
  9. Woman of the World by Michael Hedges
  10. Still of the Night by Whitesnake
Ed’s Top 10 Songs:
  1. Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Part I-V) by Pink Floyd
  2. Pride & Joy by Stevie Ray Vaughan
  3. Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin
  4. 5:15 by The Who
  5. I Just Want To Celebrate by Rare Earth
  6. Aguas de Marco by Elis Regina & Antonio Carlos Jobim
  7. With a Little Help From My Friends by Joe Cocker
  8. 25 Or 6 To 4 by Chicago
  9. Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills & Nash
  10. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
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Unhinged Episode #044: Precious Moments of Levity

by Ed 2 Comments
Unhinged Episode #044: Precious Moments of Levity

This week we take a break from the heavy and serious topics and just have a lighthearted conversation. We recorded this podcast while connected to each other through video conferencing, so to us it felt more like we were both in one room just chatting. I think this made this show feel more conversational. Maybe in the future we’ll be able to record our videos as well and have a visual version of the show 🙂

We do discuss Doug’s DBS check up and how he’s feeling generally. He’s been up and down currently, so it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster for him. He was up during this show. We continue discussing the possibility of Doug doing voice acting work just to try to make ends meet. He has recorded his first sample for a demo reel we’re putting together, and we play it on the show. It’s a start!

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Unhinged Episode #043: Take a Minute

by Ed 2 Comments
Unhinged Episode #043: Take a Minute

This episode was recorded on September 10th, 2017, also known as the 15th Annual World Suicide Prevention Day. This year’s theme is “Take a minute, change a life.” We discuss what this means and just how being there to listen to someone who is crying for help can quite literally save their life.

Doug also discusses how his use of Adderall, and how the use of most mood drugs, can cause the body to deplete itself of key nutrients. Supplements such as CoQ10, magnesium, and some fatty acids like Omega-3’s, can greatly benefit anyone who is on mood stabilizers. Unfortunately, these tend to be a bit expensive, and becomes difficult for anyone who’s on disability to afford.

Speaking of income, to help Doug’s financial situation, we have started to work on building a voice acting portfolio for Doug to start helping himself. I have always believed in Doug’s talent, not only musically, but in his unique voice characterizations. He can do accents, read narrations, and has great comedic timing. His only problem is that his brain makes it very difficult for him to put together a cohesive plan to get things done. His lack of confidence in making decisions holds him back. After discussing it with him, we plan to work together to tackle this project in baby steps that I help define. One step at a time, we will get there, and he will succeed!

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Unhinged Episode #042: Welcome Back

by Ed 2 Comments
Unhinged Episode #042: Welcome Back

After nearly 5 months, Unhinged is back! We took an extended hiatus due to various reasons, the most important being Doug’s terrible relapse. Over these past few months, Doug has been suffering greatly, but now there seems to be a spark of relief as his DBS starts working again. This all started after his surgery to replace the batteries in his DBS unit, which is apparently very sensitive. The surgery requires the device to be switched off, and when it came back on, it was no longer working the same way it was before. It took several months and lots of trial and error to get it to come back to life, but now there seems to be some hope.

During this time, Ed has also had a major life change by moving from California, where he’s been for the last 21 years, to Colorado, where a new adventure begins. The contrast between his positive life change and Doug’s hellish suffering is stark, but the friendship remains strong.

In this episode, we discuss all these changes and how Doug is coping now. It’s our “welcome back” show, so we’re still ironing out some technical issues, but we’re glad to be back!

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Where We Are Right Now…

by Ed 2 Comments

Hello, Unhinged listeners. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve communicated, and even longer since we’ve put out a show. Lots of things have been keeping us from being able to get back into the swing of things.

First and foremost, Doug is still suffering from severe depression and anxiety ever since his DBS battery started dying and needed to be changed. Unfortunately, even after the battery was replaced, his remission has not kicked back in. His doctors are experimenting with different settings and intensities to see if it starts working again. In the meantime, I can only offer words of hope and encouragement to Doug as he struggles to regain a sense of normalcy.

Secondly, all this has been happening during my move out of the San Francisco Bay Area. After 21 years of living in California’s Silicon Valley, my wife and I have decided to move to Loveland, Colorado. Though I still love everything that Silicon Valley stands for, and have many friends there, we felt that it was the right time to leave. The Bay Area has been getting steadily more congested as more people move there, and continues to get more expensive. The time was right to sell our house and move somewhere that has more seasons, less traffic, and is more affordable. It also happens to be much closer to my employer in Golden, Colorado, which is another positive.

The move is complete but we’re still living out of boxes. I’m also waiting for a new desk to be delivered so I can set up my recording studio in preparation for our next show.

Thank you all for being so patient with us as Doug recovers and we get things back in order. We will be back as soon as we can. It’s just taking us a bit longer than expected. Thanks for understanding!

-Ed

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Update: Still hoping…

by Ed 0 Comments

Hey there, Unhinged listeners and followers. I know it’s been a while since we’ve put out a show. We went on hiatus at the end of March when Doug’s DBS battery needed replacing. His mood dropped as the battery was dying, and unfortunately, it has not yet returned to comfortable levels after the surgery. Doug is still struggling for relief, and recently had the intensity of his DBS increased slightly in hopes of helping it kick in again.

We’re still waiting for his mood to increase. I have high hopes that it will improve in the coming weeks. Until then, we won’t be recording any shows to give Doug time to relax and heal. Any words of encouragement and hope are very much appreciated.

Ed
Co-founder/Co-host
Unhinged Podcast

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Post-Surgery Update

by Ed 0 Comments

UPDATE: After Doug’s DBS battery-replacement surgery on March 27th, he started feeling better almost immediately. However, as we all know how unpredictable the brain can be, his mood has dropped significantly since then. We’ve seen this before, and as disheartening as it is right now, I truly believe it will turn around again and we can continue with his remission and recovery.

Thank you all for your continued support!

Ed
Co-founder/Co-host
Unhinged Podcast

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Doug’s Surgery Update

by Ed 0 Comments

Hi Unhinged listeners! Just letting you know that Doug goes into surgery this morning to change his DBS neurostimulator battery. The unfortunate timing of his current battery losing its juice has definitely derailed his mood. We’re hoping that once it gets replaced, the DBS can do its thing and Doug can get back on track with his remission and his life!

The podcast is still on hiatus until things settle down after the surgery. For now, let’s all send Doug best wishes for a quick recovery! Maybe even post a joke to get things started on a positive note 🙂

Thank your all for understanding. We hope to be back soon!

Ed
Co-founder/Co-host
Unhinged Podcast

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