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Hello, Unhinged listeners! You may have noticed we did not publish a show today. Unfortunately, it’s been an extremely challenging couple of weeks for Doug, and my workload for my day job has increased significantly this week. Hopefully we’ll be able to put something together for next week, if real life cooperates.
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This week we have Doug’s uncle Murray back on the show to discuss how he lives a stress-free life and how that affects every aspect of his being. Even after being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, among other serious diseases, he continues to live happily with few, if any negative symptoms. Murray’s “Power of Your Belief System” methodology, coupled with his Simple Facts on stress, has kept him alive, making him a medical enigma to his doctors.
We discuss Murray’s history of magic, hypnosis, and stress-free living, and how he has applied his beliefs to better his life, and those around him. Be sure to check out Murray’s documents below, which we refer to on the show. Remember, there is no try.
- Stress – The Simple Facts (PDF – 468K)
- The Stress Scale (PDF – 210K)
- One Liners (PDF – 317K)
- I Understand (PDF – 494K)
On our last show, we discussed how one of Doug’s family members is seriously ill, and that was one of his triggers for his mood dropping. On today’s show, we announce that the family member in question is Doug’s uncle Murray, who was our guest on Episode #10. The thing about Murray, however, is that his entire way of thinking is about changing your beliefs to change your results. His doctors call him an enigma since he’s still alive. Murray attributes this to living a stress-free life.
Murray provided for us his entire philosophy on stress, and we walk through it in this episode. Look below if you want to download some PDFs explaining his whole program. This is what he uses to live a stress-free life, and it might be helpful for those who experience a lot of anxiety and stress in their lives.
This is part one of a series. In two weeks, we will have Murray on the show to answer your questions. If you have any questions you want us to read on the show, please comment below, or reach us at https://www.facebook.com/unhingedpodcast or Twitter at @unhingedpc.
- Stress – The Simple Facts (PDF – 468K)
- The Stress Scale (PDF – 210K)
- One Liners (PDF – 317K)
- I Understand (PDF – 494K)
Hi there! Let’s have a quick show of hands to indicate all the lost and lonely people out there. Don’t worry, this will stay just between us, okay?!? Anyway, one of my biggest personal obstacles is that I have a really hard time building fulfilling, long-lasting interpersonal relationships. At best I’ve only ever managed to sustain one friendship at a time, and that can lead to an excessive amount of introspection and self-condemnation. Having Asperger’s Syndrome has greatly hindered my ability to make these vital connections, in part because I’m not very good at successfully comprehending and interpreting non-verbal forms of communication, i.e., body language. So many of our daily interactions with other people are centred around these wordless transactions, and quite often I feel like a visitor from another world in this regard. Not for nothing, but Asperger’s is sometimes referred to as the “Oops, Wrong Planet Syndrome!!”
As a child I struggled endlessly to fit in and make friends with the other children, but usually this was to no avail. It didn’t help that I was at least 30 years away from a proper diagnosis at that point!! Healthy early socialization is very important in laying the groundwork for future success with one’s peers. As I did not enter the regular public school system until grade two, I was already at a most unfortunate disadvantage (one from which I’ve probably never fully recovered). What seemed to come so naturally to most of the other kids was an infinite crash course in humiliating futility for your not-so-humble author!! Endless social worker sessions, specialized play groups and the like only seemed to make matters worse. Looking back I guess it was a pretty good thing that I enjoyed reading in solitary so much, as I sure had a lot of spare time on my hands to freely indulge my unabashed bookworm ways!
I wish that I could inform you all that things took a turn for the better in my prime teenage/early adulthood years, but to do so would make me a bold-faced liar! The older I grew the more difficulties I had connecting with other people (and PLEASE, don’t get me started on my myriad of insecurities revolving around the FAIRER sex!) Not that I fared any better when it came to relating to everyone else!! The older you get the harder it is to meet new people, let alone to form long-lasting relationships with them as well. Plus, as a card-carrying, life-long social misfit living on the extreme outskirts of the downtrodden fringe, I don’t tend to find myself hobnobbing with the social elite!! All self-deprecating witticisms aside, due to a tragic series of unfortunate events largely beyond my control (yeah, fer sure, that’s what they all say!) I have never even come close to having a peer group of any sort. A lot of my so-called cohorts (in age, I mean) are simply too busy (and most rightfully so!!) pursuing their careers, raising families and enjoying a lot of the ‘normal’ activities’ that regular folks enjoy doing.
By the time I hit my mid-thirties, I decided to renew my previously feeble attempts at interacting with the hoi polloi (but hopefully with improved results!). So what did I do? I entered the conflicting/confusing world of group therapy. Ten years of on/off attendance later, I can’t honestly say that I’m any better for having done so! Yes, I did manage to meet the One True Love of My Life (Hi, Special K!!), and I have also become good friends with Doug (of Unhinged infamy, LOL!) but all other efforts to meet like-minded people have proven to be fruitless (to date, insert sigh here!!). Today I’m currently in the midst of a rather lengthy break from that whole scene, and trying to carefully figure out my next moves on the social scene front. Perhaps I will expand on this topic further in my as yet unwritten/unpublished door-stopper of a book entitled “Book Smart/People Stupid!!” (Trademark forthcoming, by the way. Not!)
P.S., I would strongly advise any lonely hearts from ever calling “867-5309”, no matter how disconnected you might find yourself. There’s not much chance that Jenny will answer, and even if she were to, she’d certainly be in late middle age by now (the song did originally come out way back in 1981, after all!!).
And now, here are five of my favourite songs based on the subject of friendship:
#1. “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” (War)
#2. “Bobby Jean” (Bruce Springsteen)
#3. “Whenever I Call You Friend” (Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks)
#4. “You’re My Best Friend” (Queen)
#5. “With A Little Help From My Friends” (Joe Cocker)
Declarative memory – Memory for facts and events, to be contrasted with procedural memory, which supports the ability to acquire and express skills (or the difference between “knowing that” and “knowing how”). The nature of declarative representations, thought to be fundamentally relational and flexible, makes it possible for such memory to be consciously accessed and “declared”.
Explicit memory – A kind of memory based on explicit remembering or conscious recollection of some prior learning episode, or the kind of memory test that requires explicit remembering; usually defined in contrast to implicit memory, involving the ability of behavior to be influenced by previous experience without requiring the individual to consciously recollect the prior experience.
Recollection – A process that results in the retrieval of additional information about a particular item from memory beyond its oldness; this information could be some detail of the study experience such as the color of the font of the item or its location on the screen, or some internal state at study time, such as what the item reminded you of.
Relational memory – Memory for relations among the constituent elements of experience, providing the ability to remember names with faces, the locations of various objects or people, or the order in which various events occurred. Can be contrasted to item memory, i.e., of the individual elements themselves. The hippocampus is required for memory for arbitrary or accidentally occurring relations.
Place cells – When an animal is exploring its environment, principal neurons of the hippocampus fire preferentially in particular regions of the environment corresponding to the neurons’ “place fields”; in this way, a set of such neurons can represent the entire environment. The “places” are represented relationally, in terms of the relations among elements in the environment.
Source memory – Memory for information about an item beyond the item itself; i.e., its various relations to other elements of the event. In laboratory experiments, this usually refers to the particular location of an item on the computer screen, the color of the font or format in which the item is displayed, or the voice or identity associated with some piece of presented information.
Unitization – The fusing, blending, or configuring of multiple aspects of a sensory array into a single-item representation; thought to be accomplished by cortical regions outside of the hippocampus [such as in the fusiform face area (FFA) for faces, and the perirhinal cortex for some complex objects], and less flexible and less relational than hippocampal representations of multiple objects.
*NCBI -National Center for Biotechnology InformationShare this post:
Doug’s personal life has been challenging lately, and this has, in part, been a cause for a mood drop in the last few days. Our plan for this show was to start by playing some music, maybe work on a new intro, and record the show. Instead, Doug told me to just start recording as soon as we got online because he wanted to explain his current mood and some of the triggers behind it.
Being a person with a mental illness is a challenge on any normal day, but when some serious real life issues arise, it can be downright devastating. A close family member of Doug’s is critically ill, and this news has affected him greatly. On top of that, future plans for Doug’s career as a certified peer support counselor are now a bit foggy.
The good news is that during our conversation, it was obvious to me that he was much farther from the ledge than he has been with other recent mood drops. He was not being a complete defeatist, and he was clearly outlining what he knows he should do and not do to get better. In other words, he’s come a long way to being able to manage these drops more successfully. Talking about it with his support system also helps, so he will be reaching out to his siblings.
The bottom line is that he now knows to deal with each issue one at a time, move on to the next, and just chillax.Share this post:
Today’s show is mostly an announcement of our new plan to do a show every other week, rather than weekly. We discuss a few reasons why we decided to test out this new schedule. It should actually be good for both the quality of the show as well as our personal lives.
With Doug feeling mostly better for nearly 4 and a half months now, he’s starting to think beyond the day-to-day challenges and looking more toward his future. We will still meet every week like we normally did to record the show, but now one week will be more about hanging as friends, playing music, and working on future goals. This will also give us the opportunity to potentially improve the show quality by having more time to lineup guests, flesh out facts, or get a little deeper on some subjects.
Toward the end of the show, we included a clip of our pre-show conversation where we discussed some interesting things about anxiety, public speaking, and stagefright. Nothing too detailed, but we figured it was interesting enough to add to this episode and maybe plant a seed for a future, more in depth discussion.Share this post:
For as long as I can remember music has been my most constant companion. In fact, several weeks before I was born, my parents went to see a horrible musical adaptation of the 1933 book “Lost Horizon.” Apparently I might have been the only one to enjoy this dog’s breakfast of a flick (whilst still in utero, LOL!!) Not that I can actually remember any of this from nearly 45 years ago, but my mother told me many times throughout her life that ‘I was really kicking up a storm on that fateful evening!’ Both of my parents were immense music lovers, although my father’s musical tastes oddly lent themselves more to his parents’ generation. As my mother’s musical leanings were slightly more hip, as a toddler we spent countless hours together listening to her records. We also spent an inordinate amount of time perfecting our very anachronistic versions of Elaine Benes’ classic dry heave-inducing dance moves!!
As I grew older and my various issues moved to the foreground, music quickly became the one thing that I could truly rely on. I received a transistor radio for my seventh birthday, and this is when I first began to build my unbreakable bond with Rock and Roll. Artists such as Billy Joel, Rod Stewart, Queen and Elton John were some of my early favourites. As the years passed i gradually moved on to tape recorders, ghetto blasters, Walkmans, and Discmans; as the technology steadily evolved, so too did my musical evolution. As a teenager I became fascinated with Jazz-Fusion, Progressive Rock and Heavy Metal, all vastly UNDERRATED genres as far as I’m concerned!!! I think that I gravitated towards these genres the most because of their complexity and often interesting time signatures. Return To Forever, Jean-Luc Ponty, Allan Holdsworth and Herbie Hancock are among my preferences in this heady musical realm.
Throughout my twenties and thirties life presented me with a relentless series of difficult challenges (sick parents, stressful living conditions, unfulfilled self-expectations and an overall sense of general malaise.) During these emotionally-stressful times, building my musical collection became my primary goal/coping mechanism. While this might seem petty and pointless to many, FOR ME, it provided an essential reason to carry on living. To date my musical archive probably numbers close to 10,000 pieces, likely split evenly between cassettes and compact discs. As much as I enjoyed seeking out and collecting this TREASURE TROVE, the downside is the amount of physical space it takes up and the exorbitant storage fees which occur as a result!! Yes, I could perhaps make the switch to streaming and the like, but I am far too attached to the tactile physicality of my collection to ever even surrender an inch!! I guess we all have our own particular version of a sin tax! Mine won’t kill me, but I just might eventually be found one day under a towering pile of musty ‘n’ mouldy CD booklets!!!
It’s often said that people on the Spectrum can develop a very strong bond with music. I shudder to even think what my life would have been like if I had not gone down this melodic path. Sadly we seem to be living in a time in which popular music has basically been reduced to an endless AUTO-TUNED parade of Ikea-approved, FACELESS zeroes and ones!! Hopefully I will live long enough to see a return to a greater appreciation of/for legitimate musical talent, and that REAL/TRUE ARTISTS will receive both their Artistic and Commercial Due(s).
In closing, here are my 5 favorite songs about music:
- “I Love Music” by the O’Jays
- “Let There Be Rock” by AC/DC
- “Long Live Rock” by The Who
- “Magic Power” by Triumph
- “Keep Playin’ that Rock & Roll” by Edgar Winter’s White Trash
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This week we welcome special guest Avery, a friend of the show’s, and to us. Avery and Doug share a connection through both being somewhere on the spectrum. Technically, Avery is toward the Asperger’s side. We discuss when and how each of them were first diagnosed, and how they have managed to overcome some of their challenges.
We also chat about the “gifts” that many people on the spectrum have and how it can sometimes be more of a curse. We’ve talked about Doug’s hyperfocusing abilities, and Avery has an eidetic memory and can recall facts with extreme accuracy. We did put Avery to the test trying to recall what year certain songs came out, and he was impressive!
Ultimately, people on the spectrum learn differently, so early and accurate diagnosis can help put them on the right path. Awareness is key!