We’ve put together an album of music we recorded over the last couple of years. We decided to let you DONATE whatever amount you want to get the full album (ten high-quality MP3s + album art). Use the donate button above or click on the ‘Get Our Album‘ button on the menu bar to take you to the album page! This donation goes directly to Doug to help him survive living below the poverty line with a disability. It’s a struggle since he cannot work due to his condition, so every little bit helps!Share this post:
Hello Unhinged listeners,
You may have noticed that we have not done a show in a little while. There are multiple reasons for this, some of which are serious enough to bring into question whether we will continue producing episodes regularly.
First, real life gets in the way sometimes and makes it tough to schedule recording and editing time. For example, I was out all last week traveling to the east coast to visit family. There have also been a couple of work events the past few weeks that kept me from being able to even meet with Doug, let alone produce a show.
More importantly, however, is the fact that Doug’s mood has been a bit unpredictable lately. He may be up and feeling great for several days, but then suddenly wake up in low state that takes days to recover from. His doctor tweaked the DBS settings recently, but that is not an exact science and can take months to fully kick in.
During the few up times we’ve had in the past couple of months, we decided to focus on doing something fun and low pressure together, so we recorded some music. We talked about getting a show done during these up times, but felt his mood was still delicate enough that the process of producing the show was just too much pressure. Remember, when we do a show, Doug is usually talking about himself and reliving all the negativity he has been going through. This can be a trigger that could set him back, so that’s why we did a little music therapy instead.
We know that there are listeners who have been helped by our show, and we would love to be able to keep serving the mental health community and being advocates for the removal of the stigma surrounding mental illness. But right now Doug needs to think about his own well-being. It pains us to leave our listeners hanging, but we know that when the stars all align properly again, we can continue our mission in some way.
In the meantime, we will try to continue posting interesting finds about depression, mental illness, and the brain. We might put together a show at some point, but not until we know it won’t adversely affect Doug’s recovery.
Of all the people in the world, we know that our listeners will understand where we’re coming from. We’re still in the fight… it’s just become a little more personal recently.
Thank you for understanding.
On this week’s episode, we discuss how important perspective is to live a positive life. Doug has been realizing how the little positive things in life make a big difference if you stop to appreciate them. Focusing on the positives, no matter how small, helps push out the negatives.
Doug also brings up whether he should ask his brother and sister why they did not visit him during his brain surgery in 2012. During that time, he was estranged from his family, partially due to a lack of understanding on their part about the disease, and partially because of how deep a depression he was going through then. With Doug’s newly found positive perspective, and his family coming around to what mental illness is all about, he feels it might be the right time to find out what was going through their minds during that time, with no judgment on his part. They are different people now who are part of Doug’s support system, and the past is “water under the bridge”. He plans to talk about it with them soon.
Quick note: This episode opens with a short guitar jam that Doug put together with his new Fender rig. It’s simply Doug letting loose and experimenting, which shows how far he’s come lately. Here’s to hope in 2018!
In our first episode of 2018, we start with a short and fun guitar jam, which highlights the mood for the new year. Doug is feeling much better, and after receiving the love and generosity from some of our friends and listeners, he’s entering the new year on a wave of positivity.
The bulk of this episode was recorded on January 2nd, which happened to be my birthday. Doug contacted me and said he had some things to say that should be recorded for the show, so I went ahead and recorded our conversation. For Christmas, I got Doug a Fender Squier guitar and a Fender amp. His acoustic guitar, though a beautiful instrument, was not totally filling his void for musical expression, and his last electric guitar had to be sold last year for financial reasons (plus it ended up not being the guitar he thought it would be anyway). In any case, getting a Fender back in his hands was enough to trigger a positive psychological change.
We mostly talk about music and guitars in this episode, but the underlying tone is one of hope. Doug talks about self-care and how to try to stay positive by surrounding yourself with a strong support system.Share this post:
We’re back for our final show of 2017 (we’ll be back in January). This episode is a little bit different since the bulk of it is an actual recording of our typical pre-show planning discussion. Doug had mentioned in the past that we should probably start recording these talks, and this week that’s just what I did. Since that conversation got pretty personal and fairly deep, we decided to just play it as the main topic of this week’s show.
What follows below is a timeline of how the episode is structured. We start with a song clip and a discussion of the past two weeks. The full pre-show discussion starts nearly 19 minutes in.
0:00 – 00:57
Clip of original song “Hey Brother”
00:58 – 01:20
01:21 – 18:55
We explain a bit about why we were absent for the last two weeks. Doug talks a bit about his struggles this holiday season so far, and we briefly chat about traumatic brain injuries in sports and the death of a UFC fighter.
18:56 – 01:07:02
Recording of pre-show discussion. This is the meat of this episode where Doug and I talk freely, usually to prepare the show for the day, but this time we discussed Doug’s slight downturn in mood in the last two weeks. He starts the conversation in a pretty low state, upset about his lot in life and feeling insecure about his future. We go back and forth for a while on feelings, distortion, and socialization. The conversation gets interrupted by a call from Doug’s sister. We ended our pre-show discussion after Doug talked to Laurie, and at that point recorded the opening to the this show.
01:07:03 – 01:08:25
I explain how Doug’s mood had shifted noticeably after our discussion and his interaction with his sister. The social interaction had improved his general state greatly. This is good data.
The next day (Monday), Doug and I talked again and his turnaround was even more pronounced. He even admitted how he felt better after hearing his sister’s voice the day before.
We just posted an addendum to this episode! Check it out!
After nearly 5 months, Unhinged is back! We took an extended hiatus due to various reasons, the most important being Doug’s terrible relapse. Over these past few months, Doug has been suffering greatly, but now there seems to be a spark of relief as his DBS starts working again. This all started after his surgery to replace the batteries in his DBS unit, which is apparently very sensitive. The surgery requires the device to be switched off, and when it came back on, it was no longer working the same way it was before. It took several months and lots of trial and error to get it to come back to life, but now there seems to be some hope.
During this time, Ed has also had a major life change by moving from California, where he’s been for the last 21 years, to Colorado, where a new adventure begins. The contrast between his positive life change and Doug’s hellish suffering is stark, but the friendship remains strong.
In this episode, we discuss all these changes and how Doug is coping now. It’s our “welcome back” show, so we’re still ironing out some technical issues, but we’re glad to be back!Share this post:
Show #42 will be available everywhere, including at UnhingedPodcast.com, August 15th!
We’ve been on hiatus since March, as Doug has gone through a nasty & long relapse. With the help of the UHN Neuroscience & Neuropsychiatry team, it looks like there has been some signs of improvement, and we’re hoping that Doug will get back to that very good quality remission he’d experienced several months ago. Until the neuromodulator battery died and surgery was performed…and once again leading to a complete relapse.
We’ll get more in detail on his current status with show 42, as well as a couple of hot topics due for discussion, and more. We’re very excited to get things going again full-throttle. We want to thank you, our loyal listeners, fellow advocates and dear friends for being so patient and understanding during the ups & downs. Please know that we’re dedicated & passionate about what we’re doing, and we want to be with you every Tuesday, as we’d done for so long.
Hello, Unhinged listeners. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve communicated, and even longer since we’ve put out a show. Lots of things have been keeping us from being able to get back into the swing of things.
First and foremost, Doug is still suffering from severe depression and anxiety ever since his DBS battery started dying and needed to be changed. Unfortunately, even after the battery was replaced, his remission has not kicked back in. His doctors are experimenting with different settings and intensities to see if it starts working again. In the meantime, I can only offer words of hope and encouragement to Doug as he struggles to regain a sense of normalcy.
Secondly, all this has been happening during my move out of the San Francisco Bay Area. After 21 years of living in California’s Silicon Valley, my wife and I have decided to move to Loveland, Colorado. Though I still love everything that Silicon Valley stands for, and have many friends there, we felt that it was the right time to leave. The Bay Area has been getting steadily more congested as more people move there, and continues to get more expensive. The time was right to sell our house and move somewhere that has more seasons, less traffic, and is more affordable. It also happens to be much closer to my employer in Golden, Colorado, which is another positive.
The move is complete but we’re still living out of boxes. I’m also waiting for a new desk to be delivered so I can set up my recording studio in preparation for our next show.
Thank you all for being so patient with us as Doug recovers and we get things back in order. We will be back as soon as we can. It’s just taking us a bit longer than expected. Thanks for understanding!
Hey there, Unhinged listeners and followers. I know it’s been a while since we’ve put out a show. We went on hiatus at the end of March when Doug’s DBS battery needed replacing. His mood dropped as the battery was dying, and unfortunately, it has not yet returned to comfortable levels after the surgery. Doug is still struggling for relief, and recently had the intensity of his DBS increased slightly in hopes of helping it kick in again.
We’re still waiting for his mood to increase. I have high hopes that it will improve in the coming weeks. Until then, we won’t be recording any shows to give Doug time to relax and heal. Any words of encouragement and hope are very much appreciated.